Five ways to deal with a breakup

Oh breakups, you don’t half make us feel grim. Our hearts hurt, we’ve
cried the equivalent to a large river, and we haven’t slept for weeks.
But don’t panic – ladies, move away from that waterproof mascara, and
gentlemen, put down the pint and listen up. Here are five tips to help
you banish the breakup blues:

Breakup tip 1: Stay away, and think of the bad times

“I’ll
nip to her house to see if she’s remembered to feed the fish”, “I must
go and check that he managed to get back from the gym okay”. No, no, no,
no, NO! If your relationship ended for a good reason, don’t sit there
thinking of excuses as to why you ‘must’ go and see him/her, in the hope
that you’ll fall into each other’s arms and have a passionate,
slow-motion embrace. If you have any thoughts such as those above, this
is the one time you can ditch the “think positive” mantra that people
rave on about, and go all out on the “everything’s going wrong” train of
thought. It’s common to mourn the end of your relationship by thinking
of all those good times you had together, but these thoughts don’t
counteract the fact that your relationship wasn’t going well. Whenever
you have thoughts about getting back together – and you know deep down
that you aren’t right for each other – remind yourself why you broke up
and think of all the annoying habits your ex partner had. You’ll be
grateful for your new-found freedom in no time.

Breakup tip 2: Make positive changes to your life

Whilst
there’s no doubt that breakups aren’t pleasant, they can serve as
catalysts for all sorts of positive changes to your life. Now that
you’re single, use it as a rare opportunity to break out of the mould
you may feel like you’ve been cast in after spending prolonged amounts
of time with this one person. You’re now free to reinvent yourself into
whomever you fancy without needing to ask for anyone else’s opinion. If
you fancy an image change, put some money aside to treat yourself to a
new wardrobe or a new hairstyle, and don’t forget to give your home a
little post-breakup boost too – get rid of any items that remind you of
your ex and change around the furniture in any rooms that you spent a
lot of time together in.

Breakup tip 3: Avoid binging on booze

Whatever
you do, don’t seek refuge in alcohol because, as much as your favourite
tipple may cheer you up, it can make your emotions come crashing back
down twice as fast. You’re more likely to drink more than usual after a
breakup to help you relax and forget about your worries, but alcohol
makes more problems than it brings about solutions. One minute you’re
having a quiet drink over a meal with your friends, and the next you’re
knocking back tequila slammers like there’s no tomorrow. You wake up
with a banging headache and a ‘sent messages’ folder (all to your ex)
longer than the list of drinks you managed to chug back the night
before. Avoid alcohol at all costs. Don’t keep it in the fridge, don’t
walk past the shop, and don’t even look at the pub on your way home from
work.
Breakup tip 4: Remember there are other people with broken hearts

While
it won’t solve all of your problems, it can be comforting to know that
there are other people out there going through a breakup too. The
chances are that they too are being told by well-meaning friends and
family that there are “plenty more fish in the sea” as they sob into
their pillow thinking “I know, but I want that fish”. Remember that it’s
not the end of the world, and there are always people worse off than
you.

Breakup tip 5: Understand what’s normal

Don’t
panic if you feel as though you never want to go near a member of the
opposite sex again, you never walk to walk past the men’s section in the
clothing store again, and you never, for the rest of your life, want to
even think of a man again. These feelings are completely natural when
you’ve just come out of a serious relationship – it’s your body’s way of
protecting you from any further heartache. One day, you’ll realise you
have butterflies in your stomach, and you’re feeling slightly giddy over
another person. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, you’ve got to take
the rough with the smooth, and before you can experience those joyous
sensations again, you must go through the hard part first. Breaking up
is never easy to do, but once you’re at that ‘rock bottom’ stage things
can only go up. It will all be worth it once you’re settled down with
someone you’re much happier with.